Pornography addiction...

The Pit

“You’ll never get help until you put yourself in the position to get help!” Those are the words that Sharon Skaggs, wife of country music entertainer Ricky Skaggs told me on the phone. I was at the bottom of the pit I had dug for myself, one scoop of pornography and sexual sin at a time (with a scoop of some other addictive, destructive behavior tossed in occasionally)

It had taken me more than two decades of spiraling toward the bottom of that pit – two decades of mental, spiritual, and physical torture – to learn that the first step in any movement toward help would be to admit to myself that the behavior I had been involved in for all those years was sinful behavior.

The confession of sin is the beginning of healing (James 5:16). The Greek word for confession that is used in that passage of scripture is exomologeo (ĕxŏmŏlŏgĕō), which means to acknowledge or to agree fully. We cannot confess what we cannot admit. I had to admit to myself that the addictive activities of my past were based in sinful behavior before I could openly acknowledge them as such, even to God.

Sexual sin, because of the psychological trauma it can cause its victims, and the societal response to that trauma, is often perceived as being unforgivable. This perception is based in part on the quite natural inability of our victims, the relatives of our victims, or even our own families to forgive. Then because our perception of God as our Father and His ability to love and forgive is built around our view of natural fathers, we incorrectly see Him as being just as unable to show mercy and forgiveness.

It is easier to accept that forgiveness is possible if we understand some of the reasons that God pronounced certain activities as being sinful. There are many good reasons, none of which is because He just doesn’t want us to have fun in life. Quite to the contrary! He created us and He created guidelines which, if followed, actually make it possible for our lives to be more productive, more fun, more blessed, and above all – more pleasing to Him. God said through Solomon in Proverbs 16:7, “When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.”

Back to Top

Sexual immorality, including pornography addiction, is sin in part because it has the ability to destroy our relationships with God. But there is more.

I know from personal experience and from observing others who shared that pit with me that the pit is an ugly place to be. It is a place where the mind is so bent by addictions to pornography that social and moral boundaries disappear. In the pit those addictions are so deeply rooted that you find it nearly impossible to pass by that adult cable television channel. The so-called men’s magazines that line the walls of the pit pull you like magnets until the images they contain are marked indelibly on your mind. The pit is a place where men rape women and children without considering that they have done so. It is a place where jobs are lost, and consequently houses and finances. Bankruptcies are regular occurrences. Families are separated by bars that hold an incarcerated husband or father. Divorce runs rampant like a fire out of control.

The pit is a place that feeds the abortion mills when women and teenagers are impregnated by pornography addicted rapists who may or may not have known their victims. It is a place where innocence is regularly stolen and traded for a single moment of ecstasy. The pit is a place where death at the hands of the AIDS virus is more common than true love. It is a place where drugs are all too commonly used to mask the pain and depression that accompanies the loneliness – the loneliness that comes from carrying on a relationship with a photograph or fantasy instead of a real person. Self-esteem goes the way of the wind.

We should be thrilled that God loves us enough to warn us away from behavior with such dreadful consequences rather than to look at Him as an old ogre sitting on some mythological throne hurling lightning bolts at us. He declares some things to be sins simply because He does not want to see His creation suffer such atrocities as these.

Back to Top

God loved me enough to lift me out of that pit. And he will respond no differently to anyone else who comes to Him with a repentant heart and a sincere desire to change. You ask, “But what about that Christian person who has struggled for years to lift himself out of a pit – a pit that other well-meaning people say he couldn’t have fallen into in the first place, had he really been a Christian?” Revelation 2:20 – “... you allow that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, to teach and seduce My servants to commit sexual immorality...”(NKJV) The words, “My servants” indicates that Christians were indeed being enticed into immoral sexual situations.

Perhaps in a later article I will have time to explain more thoroughly, but when we place our own desires above God and His desires for us, we make our desires – regardless of how wretched they are – to be idols before God. But the good news is this. God told His people in Jeremiah 3:14-15 “‘Return, O backsliding children,’ says the Lord; ‘for I am married to you. I will take you, one from a city and two from a family, and I will bring you to Zion. And I will give you shepherds according to My heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding.’”(NKJV) God told them that He would forgive their idolatry and that He would send people to them to mentor them, to teach them, and to help them stay away from such behavior.

In verse 22 of the same chapter, God told His people, “‘Return, you backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings.’” (NKJV) God does not forgive one person, and then refuse to forgive the next one. He will heal your backsliding – your fall into the pit. In I John 1:9, the Bible says that if we can bring ourselves to confess our sins, God will be faithful to forgive those sins and to cleanse us, or clean out that unrighteousness.

God does not expect you to make that climb from the bottom of that pit on your own. He knows exactly what assistance you need to climb out of the cesspool that you are wading around in, whether it is pornography addiction, or one of its offspring such as spousal abuse, rape, pedophilia, or any other sexually immoral act. He will stand at the top of the pit with His hand stretched down to you, helping you up and welcoming you when you reach the top again.

In I Corinthians 6:9-10 Paul mentions several sins that the people in that church had once been involved in, including several sexual sins. Then, in verse 11 he said, “And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.” (NKJV)

You are no different. The pit you are in does not have to be the end. It just feels that way. I know about the pit. I know how that cold dark emotional dampness feels. I know about the loneliness and tears. I know the stench of a life that is rotting away. You see, I’ve been to the very bottom of that pit...and back.

Back to Top

Print this page.